Despair of Words
by ShadowOfDarkness2004
Summary: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Or so they say. Words come with despair. Despair is always the enemy. (One-shot. Second chapter is previous version.)
1. Despair of Words

**Title:** Despair of Words

 **Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters and settings of Mermaid Melody do not belong to me.

 **Author's Note:** This is a massive rewrite of the original. **Warning: Very dark. There is description of the gory scenes.** Well, enjoy!

* * *

It all started with the note.

It was a simple, fluttering piece of parchment, hastily nailed on her door. But the words were not hasty nor were they simple. They were insults. Insults addressed to Lucia, telling her that she was a pathetic excuse for a Princess, that she should just go back to the surface world. It said that they were disgusted because Lucia had brought a Panthalassan, out of all things, to the palace.

Lucia was a sensitive girl. She took things to heart. This was no different. She told no one, though. She didn't want to seem like a crybaby or to waste others' times with trivial matters.

She didn't know that she was making the worst mistake of her life.

The blonde would find many more notes, but every time, she would read them, against her better judgment, and throw them away. She didn't have anyone to talk to, except for Kaito, of course. But all the notes insulted him, so she kept quiet and didn't breathe a word about it to him. She was not about to make him suffer the way she was.

Things started to get worse. Her dearest friends were not with her. They were busy ruling their own kingdoms. Kaito was busy as well; he had to practice his powers, learn Mermaid culture and such.

Lucia was alone. She didn't mind that too much, but being lonely was a different matter. It was a terrible loneliness, that no one could cease.

She heard rumors about herself. Whispers in the palace, words dripping with hate.

"She is a terrible ruler." And it was like a chain. One would start, the others would continue.

"She doesn't care at all about us. She even had the nerve to bring a Panthalassan to live with us!"

It was a terrible feeling. The feeling of being unwanted. The feeling of knowing that she had brought her friend, her love, into this whole ordeal.

Lucia didn't know what to do. She would often find a secluded room in the palace and let her feelings overcome her. She would sob uncontrollably, her sobs coming from somewhere deep within her. Her unstoppable tears would shake her petite figure, and she would wrap her arms around herself, trying to stop her trembling in vain. She would scream, scream as loudly as she could, until her voice, her only weapon, would crack and leave her.

* * *

"Lucia, are you alright?" The only one who was keeping her from doing Aqua Regina knows what was Kaito. His orange eyes bore into her, as he awaited her answer.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Lucia replied, resisting the urge to leap into his arms and tell him everything.

"It's just that... you've been acting a little strange lately," Kaito said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Lucia laughed it off, changing the subject, and asking him about his day. As he began to tell her, Lucia could feel a heavy weight in her chest. It was wrong to hide the feelings of the mermaid subjects from him. He wouldn't know, they were all careful and respectful around him. But... was it really wrong to keep him from pain?

Her head jerked up as he said something, and she somehow knew that it was important. "What?"

"I said, 'I'm going to go to the surface for a few days'," Kaito repeated, watching her carefully to see her reaction.

"Oh..." The Princess knew that it had been selfish to ask Kaito to come with her, away from the place he had lived all his life, away from the beach where he would surf almost every day, despite his desire to come with her. Lucia also knew that he missed his home, whatever he might say.

And even though she could not come along, even though her heart told her to ask him not to go, she forced a smile.

"When will you be going?" she asked casually. "I want to see you off."

Kaito smiled, as he draped an arm around her shoulder. And as Lucia leaned in his embrace, he said the word that would change her life forever.

"Tomorrow."

* * *

And slowly, as she lay on the cold, marble floor of her room, she could feel her state of being abandoned swallowing her sanity, her reason slipping away, dawn by dusk. She had no one anymore. The rumors had increased and the mermaids had begun to be disrespectful to her. She had isolated herself from everyone, and she spent hours crying. Her bright blue eyes were dull, and it was like someone had taken a red crayon, and drawn her suffering around her eyes.

No one. She had no one.

She felt like her heart was being wrenched out violently from her chest when she heard these words.

"We all hate her."

She had thought that coming out of her room for a while was a good idea. Quite the contrary.

Slowly, _\- oh, so slowly-_ she could feel a calm and cold anger take over her. At that time she didn't know, but she was becoming a monster. Her worst self, a self that no one, not a single soul, not even herself, had seen was coming out.

Her eyes clouded by her anger and suffering, she took a slow step forward. "Hate... huh?" Another step, and another, and soon she was at a room, marked by the royal emblem.

Two guards stood, blocking her path, and they looked at her in surprise. Lucia was struggling with her feelings, trying to stop herself.

"What are you doing here?" The taller of the guards asked sharply, her eyes cold and threatening. Hardly the way to talk to their Mermaid Princess.

Lucia's struggle ended, as she looked up at the guard with a menacing smile. Much to her own surprise, she laughed, a terrible laugh that was utterly devoid of emotion. It wasn't like she was laughing at a joke, it wasn't even maniacal glee. It was a blank, humorless, and _soulless_ laugh.

The shorter guard arched an eyebrow, as she raised her spear at Lucia. "Why are you wasting our time?" she inquired, rolling her eyes.

Lucia smirked. She wasn't much of a fighter, but she was fast and agile in the water. And so, it was easy to propel herself in the water, so she was behind the guards. It was also fairly easy to duck their attacks, wrench their spears away, and knock them unconscious.

Once the two guards were sprawled on the ground, Lucia felt herself get angrier. They didn't deserve to live. They had insulted her and her beloved. They didn't care about her feelings. They had made her suffer.

Yes. Every mermaid here had made her suffer. She unconsciously raised the spear and brought it down, the sick sound of the result of what she had done to the guts and bones echoing in her ears.

She looked up at the door, panting slightly. The Royal Armory.

* * *

Kaito looked at Hanon and Rina, a worried expression etched on his face. They had come to find him in the surface world and they had told him about all the rumors that were rapidly spreading through the ocean. He had told them that he had heard no such rumors, but they had countered, saying that everyone kept quiet around him, and once he had left, the mermaids had seen the opportunity to spread the rumors even more, up to the point that other kingdoms had heard.

And thus, they were in back in Lucia's palace, and were swimming - well, in Kaito's case, walking - quite briskly to find her, and comfort her.

"Is it just me or is the palace completely abandoned?" Hanon asked, looking around.

Kaito was silent. He felt terrible about not knowing and even worse for leaving Lucia. As they moved closer to the Throne Room, they began to hear strange noises. Suddenly, an eerie shriek echoed in the palace, followed by more spine-chilling screams.

Kaito broke into a sprint, the two Princesses swimming right behind him. "What's going on?" Rina called, her tail swishing in the water.

Kaito was once more silent as he ran. The screams seemed to be coming from the direction they were headed. He burst through the door, but the sight in front of his eyes made him freeze, his eyes wide.

Lucia was stabbing a sword into a helpless mermaid, a terrible smile on her face. She laughed, the same soulless laugh, as the deathly pale victim screamed, and fell to the ground, looking up with wide, lifeless eyes.

There were many lifeless bodies scattered around the red-stained room, broken and bloody, their lips frozen in a cry for help.

Lucia's head slowly turned towards the three newcomers, who couldn't say a word. Kaito stared at her in shock and disgust.

"Lucia, what is this?" Rina finally cried, enraged.

Hanon burst into tears as she buried her face in her hands.

"You-You disgusting monster!" Kaito yelled, unable to process what he was saying. "I hate you!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he turned and stormed off.

Lucia started after him, her lips parted. _Did he really abandon me?_ Lucia suddenly felt hundreds of emotions and thoughts bombard her mind. She didn't want to appreciate the beauty of his eyes anymore. She wanted to forget her treasured memories. She wanted to forget about those eyes that she had admired, the eyes that would show her love and care. Never had he showed his true eyes to others. His bright orange eyes had been her lifeline, the only thing that she had wanted to see.

She wanted to forget his smile, his laugh, the importance of it. How she had always longed to hear that sound, his happiness.

Lucia was the most important to him, and her, him.

Not anymore. She would forget everything. She chuckled, a threatening sound that would chill to the bone.

"Come on, Hanon, let's leave. It's over," Rina said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, looking at Lucia in disappointment. The few remaining mermaids, that had been cowering against the wall, immediately rushed towards the other Mermaid Princesses, desperate to escape their own Princess, who wasn't trained in the art battle. The guards had been able to do nothing, though. They might have hated their Princess, but they weren't foolish enough to attempt to kill her.

The mermaids left, slamming the door behind them. Everyone who had believed in her, who had once thought that she was their hope, looked down on her, their eyes filled with regret and fear as they had closed the door.

Lucia ignored them, grinning as the blood darkened the water around her, seeping into her blonde hair. A mild frown curled her lips as she remembered aqua and green eyes stare at her in disbelief... and hate.

No. She didn't care about them. She didn't care about Kaito. She didn't care about _any_ pathetic mermaid. Those mermaids would never understand the burden of royalty. They used to stare at her in awe, think that she was so lucky, that she had everything that she could have ever wanted.

"It's not true," she muttered under her breath. "They call me a Princess. They call me a fool. I say I am neither."

She laughed, manically this time. "I have nothing to lose. Everything has been taken away from me. And... it's because of me." She continued laughing, "I have succumbed to the depths of darkness. I have destroyed my loyalty. I have fallen to the despair of evil."

She continued talking, not caring that no one was there to listen. "I don't want to feel. I don't want to understand my old self." Her lips curled into a menacing smirk. "There is no one to blame. I will not regret."

She stood up straight, her figure a menacing shadow in the dimness of the room. Her blood-stained figure closed her eyes, as her hair billowed out behind her.

"I was Lucia, the Pink Pearl Mermaid Princess of the North Pacific. I was the heir to Aqua Regina." She slowly shook her head.

Hate veiled her dark eyes, she ran a hand through her dark hair, a terrible laugh escaping her throat, as she swung her sword, the smell of blood the only thing that mattered.

"I am now Darkness. I am Lucia, The Shadowed Light."

* * *

 **That wasn't meant to be so dark. It just... happened. Hope you all enjoyed and please let me know what you think in the reviews!**

 **-Shadow**


	2. The Original: Princess of Regret

**Title:** Princess of Regret

 **Disclaimer** **:** All recognizable characters, settings, and plots of Mermaid Melody do not belong to me.

 _ **Guest:**_ I do still have the original. Here it is! It's extremely different from the re-written one and it's not very good. Nonetheless, I hope you still like it!

* * *

These are the things I no longer wish to understand.

I no longer wish to understand the pain of losing those who are dear to me. I no longer wish to understand the feeling of seeing lifeless bodies in front of me, broken and bloody, mouths frozen in a cry for help.

I no longer wish to understand what it feels like to be a disappointment. Everyone who believed in me, who thought I was their hope, look down on me, their eyes filled with regret and fear as they leave me.

My one true love stared at me in shock and disgust as he said he hated me and abandoned me. I no longer wish to understand it.

I no longer wish to understand and appreciate the beauty of his eyes. The treasured memories that I thought I would never forget. Those eyes that I had admired, the eyes that would show me love and care. Never had he showed his true eyes to others. His bright orange eyes were my lifeline, the only thing I wanted to see.

I no longer wish to understand his laugh, his smile, the importance of it. How I longed to always hear that sound, his happiness.

I was the most important to him.

Not anymore.

What have I done?

I no longer wish to understand the sight of blood darkening the water around me, seeping into my blonde hair.

I no longer wish to understand the terrible memories I have of aqua and green eyes staring at me in disbelief and... hate.

I no longer wish to understand the burden of royalty. They used to stare at me in awe, used to believe that I was so lucky, that I had everything they could have ever wanted.

They call me a Princess. I call myself a fool.

How easily did I forget everything, fall to the despair of evil, and destroy my loyalty? I no longer wish to understand the answer.

I no longer wish to understand the feeling of being lonely. The feeling claws at me until I scream, and I have no other choice to hurt myself.

I no longer wish to understand the feeling of unstoppable tears. They fall, a steady trickle, and my body shakes violently until I fear that it will not stop.

I never thought that I would ever use a weapon besides my voice.

I no longer wish to understand the feeling of stabbing a sword into a helpless body, having a terrible smile on my face, and hearing the victim's scream as they fall to the ground, looking at me with deathly pale skin and wide, cold eyes.

I no longer want to feel.

I no longer wish to understand the feeling of succumbing to the depths of darkness.

I no longer wish to understand what it is like to have a weight in my chest, to have my heart wrenched out violently.

I no longer wish to understand the horror of hearing my own laugh. I do not laugh as if I am laughing at a joke or even in maniacal glee. My laugh is blank, humorless, and _soulless._

I no longer wish to understand what it is like to have nothing to lose, to have everything taken away from me. The worst part is that it is my fault.

 _There is no one to blame._

I no longer wish to understand the pain of a calm and cold anger taking over me, making me a monster, bringing out my worst self.

I no longer wish to understand myself.

My state of being abandoned is swallowing my sanity, dawn by dusk, I feel my reason slipping away.

What have I done?

I snapped. That's all. I completely lost it.

I, Lucia, Mermaid Princess of the North Pacific, keeper of the Pink Pearl, heir to Aqua Regina, killed numerous mermaids... and _became_ darkness.

I do not wish to understand the feeling of regret. This was granted to me.

I regret it no longer.

Hate veils my dark eyes, I run a hand through my dark hair, a terrible laugh escapes my throat as I swing my sword, the smell of blood the only thing that matters.

I am Lucia, the Shadowed Light.

* * *

 **Dun-dun-duuuuun!**

 **-ShadowOfDarkness2004**


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